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Kiss of the Spider Woman

While we're on a fashematics trip, let's just do one more equation.
Net-a-porter editors cleverly suggested we wear Roberto Cavalli's spider-web suede sandals with a printed dress and gold clutch for an eye-catching cocktail look.

We beg to differ though. They'd be far more eye-catching with

American Apparel's Black Unitard

AA markets the black unitard as an "adventurous fashion statement."
Yes. Adventures in Man Repelling.

And now, back to our initial try at an equation...

Spider-web Sandals + Black Unitard =

Spider (Wo)Man
Show your man you love him, wear a face mask. Snap your wrists. Up, up and away. Swing from roof to roof. Say shit like "with great power comes great responsibility." Our keen forecasting skills suggest you may be single by this time next week.

For related forms and use of unitard:

See: Woman Repelling

See: Human Repelling

*After my friend read this, she suggested we find "gloves that shoot webs" to complete the look. I reminded her we live on planet earth. She called me an asshat and insisted they exist and that "they shoot silly string." I reminded her again, that this is planet earth.

* She also confessed that she wants to buy a spidey mask, put on her unitard and run through a party. "No one know will know it's me," she said.

Get in touch with us! ManRepeller@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter @ManRepeller
at 8:19 AM

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