Stricken With The Plague of Orthodentia

On today's Man Repelling jewelry roster, Future Perfect's $200 Retainer Necklace. (A special thanks to The Gloss for bringing this bad boy to our attention.)



























This must be what Ke$ha's retainer looks like.

Now, the necklace is fantastic for an array of reasons: 
1. Next time the devil your doctor asks you why you're not wearing your retainer, you can point to your neck and say "I am, silly."
2. If reason #1 is relevant to your life, you're in an entirely different ball park of Man Repelling. Sorry, can't help you.
3. This is a great DIY project should you happen to have several retainers lingering around your bathroom in all different colors, shapes, and sizes...one or two even plastered with Tweetie Bird stickers across them.
4. Nothing says do me, hunk (read: I had acne and frizzy hair) like a retainer 'round your neck. Also, holding on to middle and high school memorabilia is pretty loaded.

I, for one, would dish out the full $200 for this necklace, but reason #3 on this list comes from personal experience. For now, I think I'll go have my former back-brace studded with rhinestones. Tootles!

This just in: my man friend informed me the only real reason the retainer necklace is a repeller is because mouth gear equals blow job fail.

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