Cape Shoes? Sign Me Up

I'm not one to complain about the state of my shoe closet or even suggest that if I don't have a pair my feet may castrate themselves which in turn will lead to my death via blood loss. Just kidding, don't you know me? Come on, I've been writing love letters to you for over a year now. I'm Drama Queen 3000 when it comes to the happenings of territory south of the ankle. Now that said and processed I am sure you can imagine the palpitations that disrupted regular heart beat when I saw these:

Alexander Wang Fabiana Sandal, $495

Shoes? With capes? Holy smokes! If ever I wondered how I could layer my capes, I'm wildly happy, excited and honored to know Alexander Wang has mocked up the solution. And just here, when I thought he had certainly stroke my lady boner to a new capacity of woman wood...

Alexander Wang Simona Fox Heel, $895

Holy Kiki de Montparnasse! You look like an extra from that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie tries to lure good sex into her bedroom with Berger via furry shoe. Looking back now, I must admit, new footwear most likely is the only palpable solution in that type of situation. Funny that these are meant to arouse the male genitalia, you should have seen the look on my brother's face when he walked passed my computer just a few moments ago. And for that only, I mandate this: I'll take two, please.