The Chronicles of Last Sunday, Cue @Bergdorfs @BarneysNY

I haven't seen my heterolifemate since New York Fashion Week, so when we finally made a plan to perv around the likes of our Man Repelling meccas, I shook my tail feather. No really, I put on a Pencey top with feather sleeves and shook my arms around.

John Jannuzzi's invitation to said perving ceremony got lost on the interwebs.

The usual routine starts at Bergdorf Goodman but this week we started at Barney's for a very specific reason. Her name is Elvira. (It was also good Halloween costume inspiration.)

Behold:

Alexander Wang meets Elvira. 
The thing that's so great about this dress is that it comes with wings.

For flying purposes, duh. Running sneakers and Nike dri-fit leggings on stool, not included. That's my own special personal bonus. My toes don't actually look like this. They were crunched together. I should also mention that it was hot in this dressing room, real hot. I tried to brush my hair back with my fingers and this is what happened:

Now, there was extraneous chiffon material on the back of the dress. I assume it was there to tie into a knot. Maybe to choke oneself because after all, if you're wearing this dress it means you just spent nearly $1,000 to look like a cross between the itsy bitsy spider, Elvira, and the Pope.

When life hands me lemons though, I make turbans. 

So that I did. I am crafty.

Then we went to Bergdorf Goodman. It couldn't have been later than say, 4pm when we got there. We dillydallied around, ran into a friend and listened to her her tell us that Alexander Wang makes some really sharp "lingerie." 

If by lingerie she means jock straps, we are right there with her. 

Around 6 pm it became eerily quiet. Escalators had started shutting down. Entrances and exits were roped off. We were trapped at BG, it was like a chic version of Night at The Museum. I was playing the role of Ben Stiller because I'm funny and stuff. So we did what anyone would do in this situation and went back upstairs to pose with Chanel's grizzly jumpsuit. (SO GOOD FOR AN ARCTIC THEMED PARTY!)

Eventually we left.
Sorry, that must have been so anti-climactic for you. K, bye!

Contact: HaremPants@ManRepeller.com, Tweet @ManRepeller