Holey Shirt, Prosciutto Shorts!

Because nothing says 'date me' like cured meat.

 photos by Naomi Shon

Oh yes, I went there. And when I say there, I obviously mean the park. Not just any park though. The park. I didn't go there to run, or play in the dog pen, even watch little children swing on sets and look at the East River. I went there to, gasp, take photos. So tie me down and hit me with a bag of bird seeds, first the Litas, now this!

I should at least get a pat on the shoulder for ringing in an element of realness. No socks, sandals, turban, rainbow dropcrotch here, just me fighting heat, one petal at a time. Yes, that's a flower in my hair, I picked it from the left.

Park jokes aside though, readers were complaining that I photograph too often in my humble abode. So I took to the streets, sue me. Ultimately, I'm just trying awareness about the nature of what one can do with but a t-shirt and shorts. An interesting print down below and voila, carpaccio. A couple o'slashes up top and...

blouse: Iro, shorts: Isabel Marant, shoes: Proenza Schouler, bag: Alexander Wang

Me and my buddy to the right play poke your neighbor, if you know what I'm saying? Fine, go ahead, judge me. But the next time you tell yourself you're in the mood for a print that looks like unkosher deli, you just remind yourself that's because of me. Me, I tell ya. Me! Gotta go pose at a supermarket, bye.