Collections Designed With Me in Mind, NYFW

It's like Kimberly Ovitz designed her collection with me in mind. I love a good black trouser that could have once belonged to my brother. And a sweater that may indicate I was caught in a bar fight. Those amazing mo'frickin shoes are reminiscent of a pair I snatched at Opening Ceremony a few weeks ago and that face, oh that face. A lovely brow line, if I may say so myself.

Rag & Bone gets us ready to bungee jump, while maintaining femininity and sporting a bralette over the appropriate X-treme sport gear. I am particularly partial toward the orange cycling shorts. To quote Brittany Murphy's Oscar worthy performance circa Clueless: break me off a piece o'that.

The long john trousers Rag & (no) Bone(r) showed last FWeek for fall (see Banner) were recreated this Spring Thank God I have something to wear over my legs with memorial day weekend in mind. Do note the sheer patches over the vaginal region and knees. I call this, contraceptive chic.

Hello Judy Jetson and welcome to the future!

At Jason Wu, Man Repeller preferred head gear was displayed in all its glory.

I've always had an appendage toward blue and yellow stripes (they were my high school team colors) but paired with high waisted trousers and cobalt blue turban that could offend even the world's most dangerous sex offender, I'm going to retract said appendage and jam out with my clam out!

In doing so, I may also pick up a bandeau composed entirely of little baby chiffon ruffles. What a great item for foreplay.

And if that doesn't do it for you (or him), wear this skirt. It's like combination of snow flakes and cottage cheese, but more tasteful.

All images via Style.com

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