Can't Man Repel on The Beach? Yes You Can

With summer upon us, man repelling sartorial options start to slim down...not! But in the event your crazy man friends think the awesome beach cover-ups we suggested for Memorial Day Weekend were hot, hot, hot, take a look at this swimsuit. It's sure to slice the cucumber (and also holds the key to our hearts.)

Behold: Zimmermann's Papillon Bandeau Bikini. It may not look so bad in still shot form but you just wait until this budding beauty is strapped onto your ass...

Who needs a beach side restroom when you can wear this. Hello, diaper. (I love you.)

And if this still doesn't work...here are a few beach reads (Stay tuned for our full feature on Man Repelling reading material) that will repel a mango from even the sexiest womango wearing the skimpiest stringkini.

A.
Nothing excites the male specimen more than seeing a woman read a how-to guide on "holding her own in a relationship."

B.

This book chronicles the tactics behind obtaining a Birkin. For uninitiated readers: The Birkin is bag by Hermes, named after Jane Birkin and runs on a scale from $9,500 to $125,000. Many a woman puts herself on a wait-list to acquire this purse. You read that correctly, women put themselves on a wait-list to buy the $9500+ purse. (Some assholes even travel great lenghts, like say, to the to flagship store in Paris...heh.)

And last:

How to make a man fall in love with, you ask? Start by cutting the self-help manuals out of your readers digest.

Have fun not having sex this weekend!

Love,
The Man Repeller

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